Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize