Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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