It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
