i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
