i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
