I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize