i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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