Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
She's the barista slut.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
