I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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