he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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