i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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