Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
