I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
