I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
