Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
