There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
