you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
