So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
