Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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