yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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