remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
