I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
