shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
