like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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