Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
home. puking in laundry basket.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
