I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
oh god was she eating orange peels again
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
