Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
