he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize