Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
