Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I'm bleeding and have questions
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
