OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Randomize
