I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
