dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
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