was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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