Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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