My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Randomize
