did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
