I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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