Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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