Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
