the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
