I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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