Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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