but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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