i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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