i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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