He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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