Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
