WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
