If i come over, it means nothing
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
COCAINE IS GR8
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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