So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
