Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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