Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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