whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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