He is such a slut. More and more my type.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
