So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
