this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
