hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
