I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
