the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
