all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
